# Again & again

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What we really doing huh?

This goes on again and again no day passes without it. It has now become a tradition, no conversation, absolutely none that we ain’t in each other’s throats. When did we lose it? At this point I should be all depressed buh my cousin is all over the place like ” Hii weather ni mbaya, inahitaji tu watu wawili” I begin to laugh and she is like ” Wa kuendea maziwa na mkate, I know what your thinking” Yah, yah I know what your thinking too. That got my mind off the situation for a bit then reality hit me again and again.

What you mean turning tables , what you mean being toxic huh?, I know I know I ain’t used to the idea of taking time out, I view both sides, weigh the magnitudes of both of then move on the you want us to move on. Is it my fault I don’t feel loved at the moment? Is it on me that I need someone to be there,is it my fault that someone is you? I am totally OK with me that we have our high ends sometimes, “we live we learn we lie”

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Hey how’s life?

I don’t know it’s alright, I’ve been dealing with things like any human being and I really didn’t sleep much last night I’m sorry, that’s fine I just think I need a little me time I just think I need a little free time Little break from the shows and the bus rides, yeah. Last year I had a breakdown, thoughts telling’ me I’m lost, getting’ too loud. That’s when I start to get anxious that’s when my thoughts can be dangerous that’s when I put on my make-up and drown in self-hatred forget what I’m saying, Where’d the beat go? I can be critical, never typical, intricate with every syllable, I’m a criminal intimate, but never political, pretty visual
Even if you hate it, I’ll make it feel like you’re in it though.

What you really want, Why all this?

You call me what you wanna, but never call me forgettable leave you deep in thought.
See, we’ve all got something’ that we trapped inside. That we try to suffocate, you know, hopin’ it dies. Try to hold it underwater but it always survives then it comes up out of nowhere like an evil surprise, then it hovers over you to tell you millions of lies . You don’t relate to that? Must not be as crazy as I am.

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The point I’m making’ is the mind is a powerful place, and what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way. It’s pretty cool, right? Yeah, but it’s not always safe. Just hang with me, this’ll only take a moment, OK?

Learning to survive, I already learned to love you as you are, accepted you with all yoh flaws, the worldwide CoViD pandemic has given many of us time, the time we always complaining we don’t have. We now all have plenty of it, use it to reflect on you, on them,that project you been putting on hold for reasons best known to you. Work on it, implement it, if it’s worth, there’s always room for improvement . Ain’t complaining buh look, I know you had enough of me. I have always been delicate Am I even relevant? That depends how you measure it. Take a measurement, then bag it up and give me the evidence .It’s pretty evident; dependable can never be tentative, I’m a gentleman oh wait shit am just a lady, depending on if I think you’re genuine, pretty elegant but not afraid to tell you to get a grip. Proper etiquette, I keep it to myself . I’m ma hang out my heart let it air out.

N.O👣☯